"I Heart" Friday

"I Heart" Friday is a new blog series that I'm so excited about! Each week I will tell you something that "I Heart", a material thing. I thought this would be so much fun and would let you know a little bit more about me. So here we go ... the first installment of "I Heart Friday!"

Photographs

How obvious right? But seriously, photographs is something "I heart". I remember my Junior year of college our English professor asked us to use a photograph and write the behind the scenes story from that photo. What was going on? What was the atmosphere like? She wanted us to share the emotion from that moment. I used a photograph of Scott and I on a picnic. It was our first photo together. In fact, it was the date that I knew he was the man I was going to marry. So many funny things had happened up to the moment of that photograph. You see, that photograph represented a memory that was literally frozen in time. Sometimes memories tend to fade away or they get placed in the back of your mind. But, if you have a photo from that memory - each time you look at it the memory will come to mind. You get to relive that special moment when the camera clicked. Each time I look at that picture of Scott and I, I am reminded at how much I loved just being around him, how he literally swept me off my feet. It makes me fall in love all over again.

Another reason I love photos is they can show you how much someone really loved you. I was very small when my Nana passed away. But there is a picture in my parent's house of me and her together. Everytime I see that photo I can see how much she loved me. The look on her face as she see is looking at me is priceless. Unfortunately, I have no memory of my Nana - photos are all I have. But that is something to treasure. I know she loved me because I can tell by looking at that photo.

Are photographs special to you? Do you "heart" them as much as I do? I want to hear your story! Leave me a comment and tell me why you "heart" pictures!

God's Love Story, Continued ...

From a Broken Heart to a Broken Dream

By: Raquel Dunn

For the past few days I've been trying to wrap my mind around how to tell the next part. It was truly one of the darkest and loneliest times of my life. Sure, I'd had this great epiphany about how GOD was really "the one" and I had come to terms with waiting, but I wasn't prepared for next turn our story took. I just expected things would get easier after that revelation. That couldn't have been further from the truth.

Earl had completely cut all ties with me by the end of June 2002. I was a few months from graduating, so I threw myself into my summer studies. Spent long hours working at the internship I'd landed at the top TV station in town. Basically, I did whatever I could to lose myself in everything but the heartbreak I felt. I still believed GOD was working things out I just had to find a way to keep busy.

As the summer came to a close and I finished up with school, I began searching for a job. One of the reporters at the station I'd been working at suggested I apply at a station in the Tri-Cities area of Virginia/Tennessee. She had worked there prior to coming to Knoxville and said she'd call the news director for me. I thought about it and jumped at the chance. I mean it was the station I'd grown up watching and the thought of getting my big break in my hometown certainly appealed to me. Besides it was only an hour and half from Knoxville. So by the end of August I was packing my stuff and moving to Bristol.

I was excited, yet terrified and as time began for me to leave got closer and closer, I became angry. In my mind, I started questioning GOD. How on earth could HE fix all this if I was an hour and a half away? It had already been 2 months since Earl had spoken to me and the thought of putting more distance between us seemed stupid. At that point though, I had no choice. I had a job to go to and I couldn't sit here forever.

When I got to Bristol, I ended up working the night shift. That meant I worked from 11pm to 7am producing the morning newscast. I was all alone until about 4 am when others would trickle in, but really the only people I saw were my anchor and the janitor. I had weekends off so I kept going to church, driving 45 minutes to my dad's church because I didn't have a clue where to go there in town.

As the weeks passed, I made few friends and my work hours didn't exactly leave a lot of time for socializing. I felt lonelier than ever. Even though I was still going to church, I didn't dare open my BIBLE during the week. I had no interest in hearing what GOD had to say. I would just stay at home and watch TV, sometimes glimpsing over at the GOOD BOOK but quickly looking the other way. Suddenly, I would give in to that anger that was building up inside me. I felt abandoned. GOD had sent me to this town where I barely knew anyone, given me a job where I never saw anyone and taken away the best friend I'd ever had. Yet, HE loved me? I certainly couldn't make sense of it.

Then it happened...my birthday came, September 7th, and I got a phone call. Not from Earl, but from one of my best friends, Shawnta. She still lived in Knoxville and was still going to Wooddale, the church I'd met Earl. She told me happy birthday and we chatted and then she said, "So, you heard the big news?"

My heart sunk in that moment. It felt like it was so far in the pit of my stomach it would never be able to climb out. I knew what was about to come out of her mouth. It was as if the world stood still. I wanted it to stand still. I didn't want the conversation to go on any longer. I wanted the past 3 years of my life to erase in an instant.

"No. What news?"

Silence.

"Shawnta, what news!?"

More silence.

"Um....I thought you'd already heard."

"Heard what!" I demanded.

"Earl asked Amy to marry him," she quietly and humbly delivered the terrifying blow I'd known was coming.

Silence.

"Raquel, I'm sorry. I thought Jerrie would have already told you."

Deafening silence.

After a few moments I spoke, "I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

I'm sure she said goodbye, but I don't really remember anything after that except crying so hard, I couldn't breathe. Thoughts raced through my mind. The anger I felt toward GOD swept from my head to my toes. It was as if I'd lived a lie for the past three years. I'd hoped in something that...never really was. I'd dreamed of happiness that was unattainable. I'd believed in GOD. I'd trusted in waiting every time HE would ask. And now HE had failed me. My heart wasn't just broken. My life was crumbling and I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to pick up the all the pieces.

Mommy & Me ~ Katy & Emily

To say I love these two girls would be an understatement! I get so excited at each chance I get to spend time and photograph Emily and her precious Mommy Katy. As I have posted before, Katy and I went to high school together and she is just as sweet and caring as she was back then. Emily has so much of her Mom's personality. She is so sweet and precious. She is at the stage of "I don't want pictures made" right now, lol, but we still got some wonderful photos that I hope Katy will be able to cherish for a lifetime. Katy, thank-you so much for letting me watch your baby grow up! It is definitely an honor.

Love!

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The Johnson Family

I grew up as Renee's third little sister. I seemed to always be at their house since her sister was my best friend. However, I think she always treated me a little nicer (not too much nicer) then she did her real sisters, lol.

I have been honored to photograph Renee and her little family throughout the past year. We started with maternity photos when she was pregnant with her little man and just recently shot his 9 month session! Little Tanner Lee may quite be the cutest little guy. I was amazed that although he wears those little glasses, he never once tried to yank them off. He is so cute with them on and he knows it! We don't get very many smiles out of Tanner during his sessions, lol - in fact, when he sees me coming he starts crying! We may not get smiles but we get some great shots!

Thank-you Matthew and Renee for letting me be a special part of Tanner's first year! Here's some favorites from his session in his grandparent's back yard!

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God's Love Story - Continued ...

God's Love Story

By: Raquel Dunn

After my epiphany, my relationship with GOD was so strong, I honestly felt on top of th world. My relationship with Earl though was anything but. It was a constant roller coaster ride; up, down, twisting, turning, making me excited and then making me sick. I never knew what was coming next but GOD was always constant to remind me, "I'm the ONE." Over the next year, a young lady who had come into our lives became a part of this story in enormous way. Because my intention is to only glorify GOD with this blog, we will call her Amy.

She was a cute little 18 year old girl. Amy, like so many other girls around us, developed a crush on Earl. It never really bothered me that she, or any other young girl had feelings for him. I knew what GOD had shown me and I rested in that. Besides, they were kids in my mind, not really viable options for becoming his mate. I was a 22 year old woman about to graduate with a Bachelor's degree, sure of my salavation and growing daily in my relationship with Christ. She was 18 year's old, a high school drop out, that sometimes attended church, and as far as I could see was clueless about what it really mean to have a relationship with CHRIST. So when I saw something begin to develop between Amy and Earl, I was baffled. I mean, he was 10 years older than her, and quite frankly it showed. Not because he looked so much older but because despite being 18, she looked 14.

I can remember Earl and I had several discussions about her. Anytime he needed someone to talkt to or something happened, I was the one he turned to, not her. I remember him telling me he wasn't really that interested in her, but I watched as she just kept pursuing him. You have to understand some things about Earl to know why his words and actions didn't exactly match up. He has one of the most compassionate and tender hearts of anyone I've ever met. He hates to hurt people. He truly desires to please everyone, which is just an impossibility but it doesn't stop him from trying. So naturally, when Amy's mother called him and asked him to give her a chance because she thought Earl could help get Amy on a good track, he obliged. And they began to develop a relationship, but it would take several months before Earl would really tell anyone that he was dating her.

Being his best friend, he often shared details of their volatile relationship with me. It would break my heart to hear him be so confused about what he felt for her. I knew he didn't really want to be in the relationship, but something kept him there. The 10 year age difference played a huge role in the volatility of their relationship, as well as the spiritual gap of where each one was in their relationship with CHIRST.

Over the next year, I wrestled with my faith a great deal. I knew I believed GOD had shown me I was supposed to wait on Earl, but there were days where the pain was unbearable. So I decided to try dating. Maybe I'd realize I'd been wrong all along. However, no matter how much I tried I didn't feel anything more than friendship for those I would go out with. And every time I thought I could move past what I felt for Earl, GOD would do something that was inexplicable to show me HE had a greater plan. There was nothing I could but trust GOD. So I stood by and watched as Earl chose to date her. He chose to begin to bring her around and try to make a real relationship of it. I stood on the sidelines feeling hopeless, yet hopeful because I knew GOD could still fix everything. Then it happened...

Amy never liked me for so many reasons. It was obvious Earl and I had something special. A friendshp that was unlike any other. He would call me before he'd call her when making a decision. I tried being nice to her, but no matter what, it was clear that she had no interest in being my friend or allowing me and Earl to continue our friendship. So she demanded he choose. Either he felt something for me or her. He had to choose. So he did. He chose her. I don't know why. I guess because they had dated on and off for a year. Or because we'd never dated and the relationship we had was so different than his past relationships. It wasn't built solely on attraction. You see, every relationship Earl had ever been in was full of distrust and arguing and so to have someone that was agreeable, that he trusted completely and felt safe with was foreign to him. Whatever the reason in the summer of 2002, he chose her and told me he wanted nothing more to do with me. I felt my dreams shatter in an instant and I had no idea where to go from here..

The Arnold Kids

When Stephanie told me her husband wanted to do a photo session of him and his siblings for his Mother as a gift, I was so excited! What a loving and thoughful gift! The kids are mostly grown so I'm guessing it has been a long time since they have had photos made together. When siblings grow up the photos of them together tend to fall by the wayside.

I know their Mom is going to love these photos of her sweet children. Her grandchildren even popped in for a few :) Josh, kudos for the great gift! These guys were so much fun to photograph. They enjoyed each other's company and it came through in the photos!

So, Happy Day Mrs. Arnold - I hope you love your photos of your kids!

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Just Remember, He is Faithful!

As most of you in the area know ... tonight is the funeral service for Aaron Brady Walls. A 17 year old young man who went home to be with the Lord on Monday morning. I have had the opportunity to watch first handed the two communities that loved him most, come together and support each other. It's so wonderful to see two rivalry schools come together. However, the support and the comfort of each other alone is not what everyone needs at this moment. The comfort the communities needs is the Lord's. Yes, God places people in our lives to help comfort us but ultimately our strength needs to come from the Lord.

When I was a senior in high school, we too lost a classmate. I remember all too well sitting in the classes I had with him and just being in shock and missing him. I and the OSHS class of 2004 lived what these kids are living. A tragic end to a young person's life is never easy. However, knowing that our Lord is faithful to comfort us makes dealing with tragedy easier.

To all the students at OSHS and CHS, please remember - our Lord is faithful. He will help you. He will comfort you. He will help ease your pain. He has never left your side. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. He wants to be there for you - you just have to let Him. Lean on the promise, that if you have accepted Jesus as your personal savior just as Brady had, you will see him again and you will be able to spend all eternity with him and our Savior.

Please go download this beautiful song off of iTunes. I accidently downloaded it the other day, we all know there are no accidents, and God has used it to remind me of His faithfullness and His goodness. I hope it will be a blessing to you as it was to me.

You Are Faithful

By: Raymond Gregory

When my heart is troubled

And I can hardly breathe  

I will rest on Your promises  

You won’t abandon me

In the valley of the shadow of death

If I’m with You I will not be afraid  

You are hope for the hurting heart

You are rest to the weary soul

When I am broken, You are not shaken

Through trial, pain, and fears

You keep count of all my tears

When I am broken, You are not shaken

Lord You are faithful, God You are faithful

On the path of abundance  

I look back and I see

When the road was rough, I stumbled hard,

I was beaten down

It was then that you carried me

Through tragedy, In prosperity

You are faithful, You are faithful

In every season Lord, You are with me

You are faithful God

You are hope for the hurting heart

You are rest to the weary soul

When I am broken, You are not shaken

Through trial, pain, and fears

You keep count of all my tears

When I am broken, You are not shaken

Lord You are faithful, God You are faithful

My favorite part are the lines - "When I am broken, You are not shaken, Through trial, pain, and fears

You keep count of all my tears". How amazing! Our God keeps count of all our tears! So as you shed tears and mourn the death of your sweet friend tonight, please remember God is right there with you. He knows exactly what you are going through. He's already been through the valley of shadow of death. He knows. He cares. He loves you and will never leave you!

I am praying for each person who has been affected by this tragedy. I pray that God will comfort you and give you strength to face the coming days without Brady. My heart hurts for each of you. But, the Lord is faithful, He will provide strength and He will make this tragedy beautiful in His time!